Of movies, jobs, and pathological liars...

If you haven't seen Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, you need to do so. Right now. No, now. I'm serious. It's amazing. Johnny Depp is just...wow. The story is amazing, of course. I mean, come on...it's Roald Dahl! And the little boy is so stinking adorable!

If you haven't seen Win a Date with Tad Hamilton, you need never to do so. Ever. No, never. I'm serious. It's horrific. Kate Bosworth, well...sucks hardcore. The plot makes no sense whatsoever. I mean, come on...it's a chick flick! And all the characters are so stinking obnoxious!

Glad I got that out of my system. On to more pleasant things.

Ahh...it's nice to be employed. Don't get me wrong. I enjoy being a lazy bum. But it is also so very enjoyable to go to work and be paid to do something that doesn't make me hate life. I'm working at the marketing department at Roche, which is a massive corporation about five minutes from my house. They do science stuff. I don't understand it, but I don't have to, so it's ok.

So the people I work with are really nice. I'm at least 10 years younger than everyone else that works there, but it's ok. They're friendly and helpful, so I can't complain. I can, however, share one major point of my enjoyment. There is a woman there in her mid-forties, a lovely, joyful woman who loves to tell me stories. But I think she makes them up. I could be wrong. The things she's told me may have actually happened, but I would be astounded.

Let me give you a few examples:
-At age 12 she went blind due to scarlet fever, but nobody believed her for a few days. She learned braille and got a cane, but they trained the family dog to be a guide dog. Her vision came back about a year later. Now she refuses to wear glasses solely on principle.
-She went to Broadripple High School, where she was the only one in her history class that graduated. She took 5 English courses her junior year, and graduated a year early.
-She has a hole in her spinal cord and two black vertebrae. I have no idea what that means, but somehow it makes her grouchy if she forgets to take her medicine. And it gives her really bad headaches that can only be remedied with her "happy pill." The last time she took it at work, she ran repeatedly into a pole and kept falling over because she couldn't understand why it wouldn't move out of her way.
-When she was pregnant with her 5th and final child, she worked for the police. She was thrown across the room by a criminal of some sort, and it made her so mad that she beat him with the chair, computer, and desk. He was in the hospital for 2 years.
And the icing on the cake...
-Her grandmother is the queen of Thailand. Her mother wanted to take her to see the good queen, but royalty isn't her thing and she didn't want to curtsey.

Like I said, some of those things may be true. All of them may be true. But I think she's full of crap. Nice woman, though.